it's finally time to choose YOU.

two videos. one choice. (your next project needs to be building you.)

Author

Chamia Murray
April 15, 2026

THE CHOICE YOU KEEP POSTPONING

You're not stuck because you lack discipline. You're stuck because you're still punishing your current self for not matching your past self.

Every time you say "I miss who I used to be," you're not actually missing that version. You're grieving the fact that she doesn't exist anymore. And while you're grieving her, present-you is just standing there wondering why you won't let her fully show up.

Here's what psychology says about living in the past: you can't be here if you're not done being there. And you can't build anything real in the present if you're constantly comparing it to a ghost.

This week we're getting into the real mechanics of why this happens — and more importantly, how to stop doing it to yourself.

YOU v.s YOU

VIDEO 1: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MISSING WHO YOU USED TO BE

You can't go back. And honestly? That's not even the problem.

The real problem is you're not allowing yourself to live in the moment because you're too busy looking back. Learn what that costs you — and how to finally choose present-you.

❝

AND THEN THERE'S THIS

Once you stop centering your past, you can finally see something else you've been doing on autopilot:

centering men.

Because here's the thing — you can't fully choose yourself if you're still using someone else (past-you or a man) as your reference point for who you're supposed to be.

VIDEO 2: how to DECENTER MEN & build self love + detachment

It was never about him. Your nervous system learned to use his attention as a way to feel okay. Until you understand that mechanism, decentering is impossible.

ONE MORE THING BEFORE YOU GO

If you're scared — if you think you're not ready — just remember this.

One day you're going to wake up. Maybe a year from now. Maybe five. Maybe ten. And you're going to wish you had started today.

You're going to realize the only person who held you back was you. It was you who was scared to make the hard decisions. It was you who convinced yourself you didn't know where to start — when you knew. You've always known.

Whether it's waking up earlier. Going to the gym three times a week. Cutting off people who don't make you feel good about yourself. You don't get to keep telling yourself you don't know where to start simply because you're afraid to make the choice to start.

Because one day you're going to look back at your life — at everything you could have done, accomplished, experienced, built — and you can give yourself a million reasons why those things didn't happen.

But at night, when you're laying in your bed and the world is quiet — the truth is going to hit you.

Those reasons were just excuses.

And the only person who held you back was you.

YOUR MOVE

Write down nine things. Not ten. Not five. Nine.

1. Three people or situations you feel are holding you back.

2. Three habits you know will make your life better.

3. Three beliefs about yourself that got you here but won't take you where you're going. (Maybeyou had to be hyper-independent. Maybe you convinced yourself you weren't good enough.Maybe you learned to stay small so you wouldn't threaten anyone. Write down the three that are yours.)

Every two weeks, you're going to commit to one. Just one.

By the end of Q2 you'll have made nine moves. That's not nothing.

Start with your first one this week.

— ChamiaTiarra

THE SIMPLE COMPLEX